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When a second child is brought into a family, it is crucial to avoid making the eldest feel that he/she has now lost their place in your hearts and in your home with the arrival of the new baby. Here are some measures that can be taken to ensure that harmony reigns in the household, and most of all, to let the oldest child know that his/her role in the family remains secure and very much needed.
SPACE
Even if two children share the one bedroom, you can arrange the space to allow for each child to have their own designated area, which should be decorated accordingly. The eldest child still "owns" a part of the room which is deemed off limits to the baby. This gives the eldest child some continued control over what had been theirs before the new baby.
TOYS
Rather than forcing the eldest child to relinquish their toys to the new sibling, new toys can be bought specially for the baby. The eldest child can then help choose new toys which would be deemed "sharing" toys. On special occasions like Christmas or birthdays, the eldest child could be allowed to buy a gift for his/her sibling, and will relish in the joy of giving. An added bonus is that on such occasions the eldest will also receive in turn an extra gift from the baby.
TAKING CARE OF BABY
The older child should be encouraged to help parents with the feeding, changing and bathing of their little sister or brother. This should not be confused with making the older child "watch" the baby. Parents can then rant and rave about what a big girl/boy the older child is, and how they simply couldn't manage without their much appreciated help. This helps the older child's self-esteem blossom, and allows him/her to take part in the ever-changing development of their little sister/brother. During these times, parents can also discuss how the older child acted at these stages, which allows them to better understand their own development.
PRIVATE TIME
During the baby's naps, parents should focus on the older child. This is your private time with your eldest, and should be spent doing things together that the baby is just too young to participate in. This allows the eldest child to shine in their own right, and gives them a feeling of privilege, rather than resentment, about being the older sibling.
GROWING UP TOGETHER
As the years go by, parents can further boost their older child's self-esteem by allowing them to teach the younger sibling certain things like tying shoes, counting, and playing tic-tac-toe. Parents can even let the older child read bedtime stories to their younger sister/brother. While each child should have their turn at doing things one-on-one with their parents, specific times should be designated "family" times, when everyone does something together. This avoids many situations where jealousy could become an issue, but is averted because each child is secure in knowing that their turn will come, and that each child is just as special to the parents. Children should be taught that while their individual needs would always be met, quality time spent with parents could also mean involving the other child.
As far as chores go, parents should always emphasize to their children that regardless of the number of members it has, a family remains a unit, and each member has a responsibility to make the unit work. Each member also has their roles to play when keeping the peace and harmony is involved.
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